I don't really have any father figures to give a shoutout to other than the 1s on TV. In truth, they were the men that raised me. I've had some great pastors that have impacted me comin up, Pastor Barry Bonner, Pastor David Peay Sr. But the men that have most impacted me on a regular basis as a kid were Carl Winslow, James Evans, Phillip Banks, Tim "the Toolman" Taylor, Allen Matthews, Cliff Huxtable, Mr. Drummond, if you're an 80's baby I kno I'm not saying any foreign names LOL. It sounds funny, but its the truth. My father left my mom & I when I was 5. For a couple years down the line he showed up to take me for the weekend, but that didn't last long. So I had to get a male role model from wherever I could find 1. I was blessed w/ the ability to choose positive 1s instead of the more obvious negative 1s around me. Even though I wouldn't recommend the TV parent strategy, in my case I benefited. I saw how Eddie Winslow, J.J. & Michael, Will & Carlton, the Taylor boys, Corey Matthews, Theo Huxtable, & Arnold & Willis were raised, & I saw myself in all of 'em. So the lessons that their dad's taught them in the shows, I learned too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am now.
There is a DIFFERENCE between being a "dad" & being a "father". A father is the technical term for the position you have. If you made a kid on purpose or accidentally, if you're in the child's life at all, you're a father. But "dad" is a love term. Only a father that loves their child & is loved back gets called "dad" or "daddy". Think about it. When a baby says its 1st word about their pops, they say "dada", & it ain't because its shorter. Its because of love.
A lot of boys are lookin for a "dad". & because some of us haven't stepped up, they're finding "dad" in dope boys, gangs, & even in molesters. & even tho
If you are a "dad" & not just a "father", congratulations, you've earned your day, keep it up. If you have a kid or 1 on the way, man up. Don't be afraid. NOBODY is ever prepared for a child, so you're in good company. LOVE that child & PROVIDE for that child, & everything should turn out right. Happy Father's Day. -Donny
Fathers/dads are believed to mainly be needed for the proper upbringing of a son but the same goes for a daughter. We are in need of fathers who treat the womens in their lives with the upmost respect. When a daughter is abused by her father or observe her father abuse her mother ... this can play a role in her life as to the guys she dates in the future. She might grow up making sure that she never deaal with a guy like that in her future, which she may accomplish. However, at times ... she might just end up with a guy who actions is a duplicate of her fathers' but even worst. She might remain in that relationship,not because she want to but because she has psychological become accustomed to the abusive ways as a child that although she does not like it, know she does not belong in it, she is somewhat afarid of leaving it because it is how she's been raised.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am trying to say, is that fathers, yes ... you must be there for your son but do not forget about your daughters. If you really want her to find a guy that will treat her like a queen, she must first know how it feels to be a princess and how a queen is treated. guys tend to date those who reminds them of their mothers, and girls ... those of their fathers.... a subconcious effect.
... I used to always say ... how can one complain/run to their father when their mate and/or a guy disrepect and/or harm them if their father is also disrespecting/abusing them. Yes, we need our mothers for love, but we yearn for that protection of a father even in adulthood.
You're absolutely on point, Unknown. Every woman's 1ST relationship w/ a man is w/ her father. So how she interacts w/ men, what she accepts, what she doesn't, what she expects…all depends on daddy. What's sad is that if she got a bad start, uses that to base her relationships off of & has kids w/ him, she's setting them up for failure too. Her daughter(s) will figure men like daddy are the norm & her son(s) will keep the family business (abuse) going for another generation. Cycle of dysfunction. -Donny
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