Break-Up Rules of Engagement: Venting

So this is something I’m guilty of and it JUST went down in the nastiest of ways.  An important step in moving up from being a MALE to a MAN is maturity.  Since the rise of social media sites began relationships have gone South in the grimiest of ways, but it’s not necessarily because of cheating or flirting.  The main problem people seem to face is knowing when and when not to vent.

I recently took the childish route and did some venting on Twitter after receiving information I wasn’t particularly fond of.  I laughed at some real creep shit my friends said and ended up costing myself a great friend.  She’s heartbroken and so thrown by what took place that she fled the city.  There’s no telling what kind of psychological damage I did, and now this chick will forever resent and hate me.

Alright, I said all that just to give you RULE # 1 of my Break-Up Rules of Engagement (R.o.E): Never vent on ANY social media site about your EX or soon to be EX, ESPECIALLY if your privacy settings don’t restrict who sees it.  It honestly makes you look like an idiot and if you have any kind of conscience you’ll most likely feel like crap if you get the pleasure of listening to her burst into tears on the phone.  The mature thing to do would be to take what you hear or whatever’s bothering you to her and discuss it like a grown MAN should do.

Life is easier when you eliminate the childish options from your thought process. I'll let you in on some of my other rules of engagement later.- Clarence

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GABE!

Happy Belated Birthday to 1 of our own, Gabe! 23 years old, & you haven't turned out too bad, old man LOL. June 23rd became meaningful once you wrecked your mother & blessed us w/ your presence.

Look Your Best. ALWAYS.

Its somewhat surprising to me just how little some guys actually put into their actual appearance and hygiene. & that's not because their appearance & hygiene is impeccable.

One of my female Facebook friends threw up a status earlier in the week saying how she was amazed that so many guys look dirty & their clothes are raggedy…& yet their kicks are fresh. While it is very true that women pay attention to what's on our feet, PLEASE don't for a second believe that any shoe in the world will distract enough to take attention away from your busted-up-ness. Your appearance is a reflection of your mental state. Its how YOU view you. & it also serves as a guideline for how others should view you & treat you.

Think of a homeless man w/ rundown clothes, body odors, unkept hair & whatnot & how most people react to them. I'm not taking shots at the less fortunate, I'm just getting you to picture a reality. I've been next to people who had new clothes on (donations) w/ other people right under them & it wasn't until they asked for some change that you could tell they were actually homeless . When you throw on that "dress for success" gear, fresh/clean clothes, or a white T-shirt to your ankles w/ slippers on, you tend to attract those wearing what you're wearing.

I love how Kanye talked about being self-conscious on his All Falls Down track. His is a bit over the top w/ his self-consciousness, but I like it better than not being that way at all. I'm not saying go wear a suit every place you go, but understand that a 1st impression can be your greatest weapon or your greatest weakness. You decide. You may forget a person's name, what they wore when you saw them, or even the things you heard them say. But you will ALWAYS remember your 1st impression of them, no matter what they do afterwards. If you were to bump into the person that would handle your job interview tomorrow looking & also ACTING a mess, guess who wouldn't be getting that 2nd interview?

Eliminate the negativity around you & draw the positivity to you by always LOOKING good, SMELLING good, SOUNDING good, & promoting yourself like the business you are. You are your own brand. To get any place in life you have GOT to sell yourself. But if you sound wrong, look wrong, and act wrong, nobody will focus on what you have to say because all that other mess is overpowering your sale. Start getting yourself on point if you're not already and watch your social life, professional life, love life, & just about everything else improve. DRAMATICALLY. -Donny

FATHER'S DAY

It actually wasn't intentional for this to really kick off on Father's Day. But in truth, what better time than today? So with that said, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to fathers everywhere that TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN. & not just fathers, but uncles, grandfathers, older cousins, role models, thank you for doin your part & then some, & holding it down for these young bucks coming up.

I don't really have any father figures to give a shoutout to other than the 1s on TV. In truth, they were the men that raised me. I've had some great pastors that have impacted me comin up, Pastor Barry Bonner, Pastor David Peay Sr. But the men that have most impacted me on a regular basis as a kid were Carl Winslow, James Evans, Phillip Banks, Tim "the Toolman" Taylor, Allen Matthews, Cliff Huxtable, Mr. Drummond, if you're an 80's baby I kno I'm not saying any foreign names LOL. It sounds funny, but its the truth. My father left my mom & I when I was 5. For a couple years down the line he showed up to take me for the weekend, but that didn't last long. So I had to get a male role model from wherever I could find 1. I was blessed w/ the ability to choose positive 1s instead of the more obvious negative 1s around me. Even though I wouldn't recommend the TV parent strategy, in my case I benefited. I saw how Eddie Winslow, J.J. & Michael, Will & Carlton, the Taylor boys, Corey Matthews, Theo Huxtable, & Arnold & Willis were raised, & I saw myself in all of 'em. So the lessons that their dad's taught them in the shows, I learned too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am now.

There is a DIFFERENCE between being a "dad" & being a "father". A father is the technical term for the position you have. If you made a kid on purpose or accidentally, if you're in the child's life at all, you're a father. But "dad" is a love term. Only a father that loves their child & is loved back gets called "dad" or "daddy". Think about it. When a baby says its 1st word about their pops, they say "dada", & it ain't because its shorter. Its because of love.

A lot of boys are lookin for a "dad". & because some of us haven't stepped up, they're finding "dad" in dope boys, gangs, & even in molesters. & even tho women run the world (LOL), its the men who hold most of the power positions. Boys that get poorly raised result in a world that's poorly cared for.

If you are a "dad" & not just a "father", congratulations, you've earned your day, keep it up. If you have a kid or 1 on the way, man up. Don't be afraid. NOBODY is ever prepared for a child, so you're in good company. LOVE that child & PROVIDE for that child, & everything should turn out right. Happy Father's Day. -Donny

Qwestions

Whats on YOUR mind? We'll be bringing heat, fiyah, & all other kinds of manliness to the blog, speaking on whatever we feel is relevant at the time or whatever inspires us, whenever.

But we're not here to hear, read, and see OURSELVES. We can do that on FaceBook & Twitter.

It's M.A.L.E.hood's job to educate & share w/ our READERS as well as OURSELVES. So please. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE send us questions you may have, let us kno if theres a topic or discussion on your mind, an issue you want/need feedback on, WHATEVER. This blog can be FUN, POWERFUL & LIFE-CHANGING...but it's only gonna be as live as you, the people, make it. Hit us up w/ ALL that good stuff at: MALE.hood@gmail.com. We goin in on EVERYTHING & I mean EVERYTHING. There is no dumb question.

I'm dropping the FIRST actual post THIS Sunday aka Father's Day. Ironic, huh? Lay around for it. -Donny

Who We Are

I guess I’m first up to the plate. I’m Clarence Burse and I’m a 23 year old E-5 in the U.S Air Force. I’m a walking, talking, living, and breathing paradox. I am what I am even when I’m not, or in the words of Kanye, “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.” I’m a cocky level-headed asshole with a heart of gold. I aspire to one day bring peace to the world by becoming the Supreme Overlord of Earth.

Salutations & greetings to all. We're all the brains, so I'll claim the looks of the operation LOL. I am Donny Major & I'm 23 years fly. A hop, skip & a jump away from my B.A. in Criminal Justice. My ambitions stack like ball player salaries, but forensic psychology is what's gonna pay my bills. I'm the black Dos Equis man on Red Bull. I love GOD, reading, learning, the beach, exercise, getting my money up, making life happen, watching dope movies, basketball, MMA, Sons of Anarchy, Burn Notice, Supernatural, & passing out broken dreams online in Assassin's Creed, among many.

Name's Steeve Leo St-Fleur. Born in Haiti, raised in Miami Dade county. Real cool guy to be around and get to know, but don't have time for the games. Come real or don't come at all.

Aloha!
   My name is Gabriel E. De La Paz, I am 23 years young and Happily Married. I am employed at a Law Firm that's focus is mostly Real Estate Law. My position is problem solving and projects manager but enough about my work, this is not a Resume after all. I have traveled much and have a rich mixture of cultures that flow through my veins. Born in Hawaii and raised in the Caribbean Islands, most prominent Island being Puerto Rico. My ventures have taken me to the streets of the Bronx (where my infatuation with Hip Hop as a culture was founded), Down to Sunny Miami (where the 2 worlds I have grown up with, merge in a remarkable way).
   I watch T.V. briefly but stand a proud fan of Martial Arts, Music, Poetry, Literature, Film and Comic Books. All of which I spend many days studying and/or practicing. Above all I am a God fearing man, in a Marriage that is lead by faith. On that note, I will do my best to share my God given knowledge, with as much wisdom and positivity granted.

   Darryl Lockett. Thats what I go by. Born & Raised in Miami with the dream of owning my own restaurant. I'm a lot of things:a God-fearing man, Rapper, Student, Computer Whiz, but most recently, a Future husband & future dad. I'm 22 years old end expecting my first kid. I believe that your family is more than just your bloodline, and I'm always loyal to my family. DANGEROUSLY loyal.
   I've been called brilliant, gifted, genius, talented, and asshole. I prefer Asshole. It really captures my blunt honesty. I'm what you call a leader-type: calm demeanor and a gift for words combined with a need for disposing of bullshit and a twist of unpredictability draw people to me. A bit of a movie buff that came with a love of comics, as well as a fan of College Football and MMA. I love music,R&B,  hip-hop, Jazz and a bit of Classical thrown in for culture, and I practice my craft more than often. I'm also madly in love wit my wife. Infatuated with good  liquor and great food. Anything else you wanna know, feel free to ask.

WHAT is M.A.L.E.HOOD?

M.A.L.E.hood is a concept that was created when several like-minded gentlemen realized collectively that the way most guys think, act & operate today is not the way that MEN should. So M.A.L.E.hood is basically what your father/grandfather/uncle/any good male role model should have or would have told you if they had the chance or knew what to say. Many of us did NOT have a decent father or any type of good male influence coming up, & it's not too hard to see the results. Outside of society, its caused many problems for us as boys. What to do, when to do, how to do, why I should do, where to do, and even who we should do. We've had to enroll in the School of Hardknocks & learn our lessons the best way we could, from whoever seemed to know more than we did. Some things we got right. Many we did not.

But thats all in the past. Some of us have emerged and done pretty well for ourselves. We've graduated into MANHOOD & now we're passing on the things we've learned & are STILL LEARNING on to those who are hungry for the heads up. We've gone through it so YOU DON'T HAVE TO. As guys we're taught to be independent, not ask for help, and never show weakness. Sorry, but that is total BULLSHIT. A man is NEVER independent if he doesn't know WHEN to depend. A man is ALWAYS helpless when he DOESN'T know how to ask for help. And a man is NEVER weak when he knows his weaknesses and tries to strengthen them. So stay tuned, soak up the wisdom in this blog, ask questions, and remember, we are ALL brothers striving for manhood...but first, you gotta go through M.A.L.E.hood-