What's Your Type?

A common question that you hear from guys to girls & girls to guys all the time, & even in conversation amongst the fellas or the chicas: what's your type? What kind of person grabs your interest? What's your wifey or hubby type? But I'm gonna break down for you why its important to ask YOURSELF what your type is.

I was having an interesting convo with a woman not too long ago about relationships, love, etc & eventually she asked me the question in question: what's your type? As I always do when asked this, I paused, because I never think about it unless I'm asked & I'm a broad guy. I personally don't have an exact type, I have types. I require the same things out of all my interest as far as personality, spirituality & intelligence goes, but physical (which the word "type" usually means) usually comes down to how she's proportioned, so it can really vary (FYI bottom heavy > top heavy LOL).

1 of the reasons I have no 1, ideal physical type is because I love the female species period, & they come in so many varieties, I'd be doing myself a disservice by only being interested in 1 tiny part of the population.

Most important to me however, & hopefully a lot of other fellas, is the internal over the external. I'm young, so don't get it twisted. I'm not saying I go for grandmas or women w/ handicaps, & I'm not advising anyone else to either. But I am saying if a woman has a sparkling personality, a heart of gold, loves God, intelligence, great conversation skills & crazy sex appeal, I'm not going to skip over her just because she's dark skinned & not light skinned. Or has a slightly above average figure & not a ::in my Frank Ocean voice:: stripper booty & a rack like woooooow.

There is nothing wrong with being picky, young sirs. We are fly, young gentlemen building ourselves into better people & better men. & that alone makes us valuable & deserving of having a selective choice about who we give our affections to. However, if you're going to be picky, be picky about the right things. It might be too soon for you to think long term, but an ass shrinks (or slumps), boobs sag, & looks fade. Sometimes much sooner than you expect. I always say that looks are the audition but its what's on the inside that gets you the role. If you're going to be picky, be picky about her personality, her smarts, her spirituality (if that's important to you) & other things on the inside that will ALWAYS be there. Don't pass up your perfect gift over some wrapping paper.

So ask yourself: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE? -Donny

Sensitive Side

"I was taught the true definition of a man was to never cry, work til you tired, got to provide. Always be the rock for my fam, protect them by all means, and give you the things that you need." - Musiq Soulchild, TeachMe

As boys we were taught or we deduced that being a man meant showing no fear, keeping our emotions hidden, and never admitting you're wrong. I’m here to tell you those were probably the most counterproductive lies we were told, and in this day and age those beliefs can keep many males from reaching MANhood.

If you’re going for the heartless mysterious bad boy then first off you’re on the wrong blog. Secondly, that only last for so long. Finally, you’re going to be one lonely old man, IF you survive that long because real street dudes kill pretenders. Let me get back to the MESSAGE I’m trying to send to you. We’re only human, we all experience fear and sadness at some point. Hiding what you feel adversely affects your relationships. Why would she turn to you when she’s vulnerable if she doesn’t believe you can empathize with and comfort her?

I’m not saying you had to break down and cry when the Heat didn’t win (even though it was a traumatic experience and worth a tear or two), but I am saying that taking the emotionless route will fail you more often than not.  I guarantee that if you took at least 5 minutes to open up to your chick about you, your past, or your feelings the dynamic of your relationship would change for the better. -Clarence

Mentoring 4 Dummies

~Been a small while, family. We haven't los tour energy or slowed down, e've just been adjusting to new paces. All part of growth, so its a sign of good things. Hope everybody had a great 4th of July. I kno I did...kind of LOL. Anyway, on to the business at hand~


Its important to be mentored by a person w/ more experience than you. This is tru in life in all aspects, spiritually, professionally & personally. Its only important tho if you're actually serious about life.

The reason its important is because, as I've told many people before, it absolutely SUCKS how every year we get a little bit older, yet on our birthday nobody gives us an instruction manual on what the hell we're supposed to do for the next 365-&-a-quarter days. Depending on who you are, where you are & where your trying to go in life, your path may be more complicated. A good mentor can school you on life in general & in the area you've chosen to receive guidance in. They may or may not have had 1 (you are NEVER too old or too young to be mentored, not possible), but they can tell you how big a difference 1 can have. There are a LOT of people I kno that could benefit or could have benefited from a mentor. They've made choices & decisions & missed out on platinum opportunities that they didn't have to simply because they had no experience to guide them.

Let's use reason. Hard work pays off & short cuts very often cut US off. But if you could achieve your goals & get to where you're trying to be without taking as long, paying as many dues & with much less screw ups, wouldn't you go for it? Why touch the stove to see if its hot when you could just ask the person who's used or is using it?

In order to find a good & a suitable mentor, you have to do a few things.

•First off, you must be prepared to look outside of your surroundings. Odds are if you already knew somebody that has had success in the area(s) your looking to, you would have been on the phone or at their door by now. Ask your friends or loved ones if they kno anybody. If not, look in your community, Google your area & see who pops up, get looking.

•Second, develop a friendship with this person. That doesn't mean you have to be buddy-buddy with them, but attempt to AT LEAST have a business-type relationship. Trust has to exist like in any other relationship because you will be making important changes, decisions & taking on challenges & opportunities based on this person's advice & input.

•Third, seek somebody older than you. They DON'T have to be elderly like Dumbledore in Harry Potter or Gandalf in Lord of The Rings, but you want somebody with EXPERIENCE. & more often than not, that comes with age. There are people that are young with lots of experience. Every older person was young once. But you're looking for a sure thing, so unless you kno that person is a prodigy in the area you're looking into, go older.

•Fourth, make sure they take you seriously. 1 of the downsides of looking to a relative or friend can be that they don't see you as you want to become or can't take you seriously because they still see you the way they always knew you. This goes back to an EARLIER blog where I briefly shared how powerful a first impression is. Look for someone who you can have a clean, fresh slate with, if you can.

•Fifth, don't trip about the difficulty. A mentor isn't going to magically unlock doors for you. You're still going to have to bust your ass to get to where you want to be. However, a mentor will help you bust it the SMART way & show you in which DIRECTION you should be busting it.

•Last up, you don't have to have just 1 mentor. You can have a few. They can be for different areas in your life or all for the same thing. Different perspectives add more color to the painting. You can see common themes & increase the odds of great opportunities that can result from a mentor putting you on.


Now for those that have the resources & the experience necessary but are just sleeping on it, let me school YOU on something. Its a lot easier for women to mentor each other than it is for men because, face it, we got issues. We struggle enough with communicating with the women in our lives, let alone other men. We let our pride & insecurity make fools of us just because we don't want to come off as inferior to another male. & this is why it takes us years & decades to accomplish what could only take months & years. Sharing information with each other is NOT going to shortchange you. You will not get your riches taken if you tell somebody else how you got them. Your riches are just that: YOURS. If anything, you'll add more wealth just by sharing yours. Chris Rock said during a recent interview with Oprah that "wealth isn't about having money, its about having opportunities." Networking, mentoring, doing favors for others, all of that creates opportunities. There have been stories about people who inherited FORTUNES just because they gave of their time or good advice to others. Somebody spent some time with a little, old lady or helped clean up around a handicapped guy's home, or treated somebody's relative like family. Can you imagine how you might have benefited (besides financially) if you had the ability to mentor Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Barack Obama or LeBron James before they reached their success? You never kno who is just a few grains of wisdom away from being a success story. You have a chance of writing history as a mentor because you can say I helped Gates become a software tycoon, I advised Obama on how to run a campaign, I showed LeBron how to improve his game.

No man is an island, we're all we got. Crabs in a bucket can't even LOOK for a way out because they're too busy keeping the others down. But if they would focus on helping 1 get out, they could all escape from Red Lobster. Never be afraid to ask for help or say "I don't kno", because that's how you get to the next level. Be TERRIFIED of not seeking it, because you will stay at the bottom all your life. -Donny

Break-Up Rules of Engagement: Venting

So this is something I’m guilty of and it JUST went down in the nastiest of ways.  An important step in moving up from being a MALE to a MAN is maturity.  Since the rise of social media sites began relationships have gone South in the grimiest of ways, but it’s not necessarily because of cheating or flirting.  The main problem people seem to face is knowing when and when not to vent.

I recently took the childish route and did some venting on Twitter after receiving information I wasn’t particularly fond of.  I laughed at some real creep shit my friends said and ended up costing myself a great friend.  She’s heartbroken and so thrown by what took place that she fled the city.  There’s no telling what kind of psychological damage I did, and now this chick will forever resent and hate me.

Alright, I said all that just to give you RULE # 1 of my Break-Up Rules of Engagement (R.o.E): Never vent on ANY social media site about your EX or soon to be EX, ESPECIALLY if your privacy settings don’t restrict who sees it.  It honestly makes you look like an idiot and if you have any kind of conscience you’ll most likely feel like crap if you get the pleasure of listening to her burst into tears on the phone.  The mature thing to do would be to take what you hear or whatever’s bothering you to her and discuss it like a grown MAN should do.

Life is easier when you eliminate the childish options from your thought process. I'll let you in on some of my other rules of engagement later.- Clarence

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GABE!

Happy Belated Birthday to 1 of our own, Gabe! 23 years old, & you haven't turned out too bad, old man LOL. June 23rd became meaningful once you wrecked your mother & blessed us w/ your presence.

Look Your Best. ALWAYS.

Its somewhat surprising to me just how little some guys actually put into their actual appearance and hygiene. & that's not because their appearance & hygiene is impeccable.

One of my female Facebook friends threw up a status earlier in the week saying how she was amazed that so many guys look dirty & their clothes are raggedy…& yet their kicks are fresh. While it is very true that women pay attention to what's on our feet, PLEASE don't for a second believe that any shoe in the world will distract enough to take attention away from your busted-up-ness. Your appearance is a reflection of your mental state. Its how YOU view you. & it also serves as a guideline for how others should view you & treat you.

Think of a homeless man w/ rundown clothes, body odors, unkept hair & whatnot & how most people react to them. I'm not taking shots at the less fortunate, I'm just getting you to picture a reality. I've been next to people who had new clothes on (donations) w/ other people right under them & it wasn't until they asked for some change that you could tell they were actually homeless . When you throw on that "dress for success" gear, fresh/clean clothes, or a white T-shirt to your ankles w/ slippers on, you tend to attract those wearing what you're wearing.

I love how Kanye talked about being self-conscious on his All Falls Down track. His is a bit over the top w/ his self-consciousness, but I like it better than not being that way at all. I'm not saying go wear a suit every place you go, but understand that a 1st impression can be your greatest weapon or your greatest weakness. You decide. You may forget a person's name, what they wore when you saw them, or even the things you heard them say. But you will ALWAYS remember your 1st impression of them, no matter what they do afterwards. If you were to bump into the person that would handle your job interview tomorrow looking & also ACTING a mess, guess who wouldn't be getting that 2nd interview?

Eliminate the negativity around you & draw the positivity to you by always LOOKING good, SMELLING good, SOUNDING good, & promoting yourself like the business you are. You are your own brand. To get any place in life you have GOT to sell yourself. But if you sound wrong, look wrong, and act wrong, nobody will focus on what you have to say because all that other mess is overpowering your sale. Start getting yourself on point if you're not already and watch your social life, professional life, love life, & just about everything else improve. DRAMATICALLY. -Donny

FATHER'S DAY

It actually wasn't intentional for this to really kick off on Father's Day. But in truth, what better time than today? So with that said, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to fathers everywhere that TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN. & not just fathers, but uncles, grandfathers, older cousins, role models, thank you for doin your part & then some, & holding it down for these young bucks coming up.

I don't really have any father figures to give a shoutout to other than the 1s on TV. In truth, they were the men that raised me. I've had some great pastors that have impacted me comin up, Pastor Barry Bonner, Pastor David Peay Sr. But the men that have most impacted me on a regular basis as a kid were Carl Winslow, James Evans, Phillip Banks, Tim "the Toolman" Taylor, Allen Matthews, Cliff Huxtable, Mr. Drummond, if you're an 80's baby I kno I'm not saying any foreign names LOL. It sounds funny, but its the truth. My father left my mom & I when I was 5. For a couple years down the line he showed up to take me for the weekend, but that didn't last long. So I had to get a male role model from wherever I could find 1. I was blessed w/ the ability to choose positive 1s instead of the more obvious negative 1s around me. Even though I wouldn't recommend the TV parent strategy, in my case I benefited. I saw how Eddie Winslow, J.J. & Michael, Will & Carlton, the Taylor boys, Corey Matthews, Theo Huxtable, & Arnold & Willis were raised, & I saw myself in all of 'em. So the lessons that their dad's taught them in the shows, I learned too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am now.

There is a DIFFERENCE between being a "dad" & being a "father". A father is the technical term for the position you have. If you made a kid on purpose or accidentally, if you're in the child's life at all, you're a father. But "dad" is a love term. Only a father that loves their child & is loved back gets called "dad" or "daddy". Think about it. When a baby says its 1st word about their pops, they say "dada", & it ain't because its shorter. Its because of love.

A lot of boys are lookin for a "dad". & because some of us haven't stepped up, they're finding "dad" in dope boys, gangs, & even in molesters. & even tho women run the world (LOL), its the men who hold most of the power positions. Boys that get poorly raised result in a world that's poorly cared for.

If you are a "dad" & not just a "father", congratulations, you've earned your day, keep it up. If you have a kid or 1 on the way, man up. Don't be afraid. NOBODY is ever prepared for a child, so you're in good company. LOVE that child & PROVIDE for that child, & everything should turn out right. Happy Father's Day. -Donny

Qwestions

Whats on YOUR mind? We'll be bringing heat, fiyah, & all other kinds of manliness to the blog, speaking on whatever we feel is relevant at the time or whatever inspires us, whenever.

But we're not here to hear, read, and see OURSELVES. We can do that on FaceBook & Twitter.

It's M.A.L.E.hood's job to educate & share w/ our READERS as well as OURSELVES. So please. Please. PLEASE. PLEASE send us questions you may have, let us kno if theres a topic or discussion on your mind, an issue you want/need feedback on, WHATEVER. This blog can be FUN, POWERFUL & LIFE-CHANGING...but it's only gonna be as live as you, the people, make it. Hit us up w/ ALL that good stuff at: MALE.hood@gmail.com. We goin in on EVERYTHING & I mean EVERYTHING. There is no dumb question.

I'm dropping the FIRST actual post THIS Sunday aka Father's Day. Ironic, huh? Lay around for it. -Donny

Who We Are

I guess I’m first up to the plate. I’m Clarence Burse and I’m a 23 year old E-5 in the U.S Air Force. I’m a walking, talking, living, and breathing paradox. I am what I am even when I’m not, or in the words of Kanye, “Everything I’m not made me everything I am.” I’m a cocky level-headed asshole with a heart of gold. I aspire to one day bring peace to the world by becoming the Supreme Overlord of Earth.

Salutations & greetings to all. We're all the brains, so I'll claim the looks of the operation LOL. I am Donny Major & I'm 23 years fly. A hop, skip & a jump away from my B.A. in Criminal Justice. My ambitions stack like ball player salaries, but forensic psychology is what's gonna pay my bills. I'm the black Dos Equis man on Red Bull. I love GOD, reading, learning, the beach, exercise, getting my money up, making life happen, watching dope movies, basketball, MMA, Sons of Anarchy, Burn Notice, Supernatural, & passing out broken dreams online in Assassin's Creed, among many.

Name's Steeve Leo St-Fleur. Born in Haiti, raised in Miami Dade county. Real cool guy to be around and get to know, but don't have time for the games. Come real or don't come at all.

Aloha!
   My name is Gabriel E. De La Paz, I am 23 years young and Happily Married. I am employed at a Law Firm that's focus is mostly Real Estate Law. My position is problem solving and projects manager but enough about my work, this is not a Resume after all. I have traveled much and have a rich mixture of cultures that flow through my veins. Born in Hawaii and raised in the Caribbean Islands, most prominent Island being Puerto Rico. My ventures have taken me to the streets of the Bronx (where my infatuation with Hip Hop as a culture was founded), Down to Sunny Miami (where the 2 worlds I have grown up with, merge in a remarkable way).
   I watch T.V. briefly but stand a proud fan of Martial Arts, Music, Poetry, Literature, Film and Comic Books. All of which I spend many days studying and/or practicing. Above all I am a God fearing man, in a Marriage that is lead by faith. On that note, I will do my best to share my God given knowledge, with as much wisdom and positivity granted.

   Darryl Lockett. Thats what I go by. Born & Raised in Miami with the dream of owning my own restaurant. I'm a lot of things:a God-fearing man, Rapper, Student, Computer Whiz, but most recently, a Future husband & future dad. I'm 22 years old end expecting my first kid. I believe that your family is more than just your bloodline, and I'm always loyal to my family. DANGEROUSLY loyal.
   I've been called brilliant, gifted, genius, talented, and asshole. I prefer Asshole. It really captures my blunt honesty. I'm what you call a leader-type: calm demeanor and a gift for words combined with a need for disposing of bullshit and a twist of unpredictability draw people to me. A bit of a movie buff that came with a love of comics, as well as a fan of College Football and MMA. I love music,R&B,  hip-hop, Jazz and a bit of Classical thrown in for culture, and I practice my craft more than often. I'm also madly in love wit my wife. Infatuated with good  liquor and great food. Anything else you wanna know, feel free to ask.

WHAT is M.A.L.E.HOOD?

M.A.L.E.hood is a concept that was created when several like-minded gentlemen realized collectively that the way most guys think, act & operate today is not the way that MEN should. So M.A.L.E.hood is basically what your father/grandfather/uncle/any good male role model should have or would have told you if they had the chance or knew what to say. Many of us did NOT have a decent father or any type of good male influence coming up, & it's not too hard to see the results. Outside of society, its caused many problems for us as boys. What to do, when to do, how to do, why I should do, where to do, and even who we should do. We've had to enroll in the School of Hardknocks & learn our lessons the best way we could, from whoever seemed to know more than we did. Some things we got right. Many we did not.

But thats all in the past. Some of us have emerged and done pretty well for ourselves. We've graduated into MANHOOD & now we're passing on the things we've learned & are STILL LEARNING on to those who are hungry for the heads up. We've gone through it so YOU DON'T HAVE TO. As guys we're taught to be independent, not ask for help, and never show weakness. Sorry, but that is total BULLSHIT. A man is NEVER independent if he doesn't know WHEN to depend. A man is ALWAYS helpless when he DOESN'T know how to ask for help. And a man is NEVER weak when he knows his weaknesses and tries to strengthen them. So stay tuned, soak up the wisdom in this blog, ask questions, and remember, we are ALL brothers striving for manhood...but first, you gotta go through M.A.L.E.hood-